Just Start: When should you call yourself *the thing*?
Or: am I a newsletter guy yet?
Here’s a question: let’s say you start writing, or running, or playing the piano or doing BJJ or running a YouTube channel or doing standup comedy gigs or something else. At what point, in time or experience, do you say “I am a writer/runner/BJJ guy/pianist/YouTube creator/standup comedian something else”?
To be clear, I don’t think that there’s a definitively ‘good’ answer to this, but I do think that your answer both sort of shows and shapes your view of the world, and so I definitely think it’s a question worth thinking about.
I, for instance, probably veer too hard towards the “lots of experience” end of the spectrum. I could barely stand to call myself a writer when I already had a paid job as a writer and wrote as a hobby and had four books in the shops (they were children’s books!) and I still wouldn’t call myself a runner now, even though I’ve done a marathon and a half-marathon and I’ve run for hundreds (thousands?) of miles and tried quite hard to get better at running. I don’t think it’s all that helpful to say things like “If you have a body, you’re an athlete!”, because then the term athlete doesn’t mean anything at all, and I don’t think it makes all that much sense to say that if you write once, you’re a writer, or that if you run once you’re a runner. There has to be some effort, some sort of ticket price for entry, even if it’s one that pretty much anyone can afford. So how high should it be?
I think there are basically two answers to this, and they probably suit different people:
Low. You might also call this the identity-driven mindset, and it’s the one that suggests thinking of yourself as the thing as soon as possible. The idea would be that, once you start thinking of yourself as a writer/athlete/fighter/whatever else, that identity helps to shape your decisions and nudge you towards ones that will be more like the thing. If asking yourself the question “What would an athlete do here?” can nudge you away from a McFlurry when you walk past a fast food restaurant, that’s great and I don’t think you should ignore it. If, though, calling yourself a writer feels like enough and frees you of your obligation to actually write, this doesn’t seem great.
High. I’m going to call this the identity-aspirant mindset, and it’s what I think I am It’s where you want to be the thing, and so you’re constantly striving to be the thing, and in some cases continually justifying your status as the thing. It might be unhealthy in its own way, in case it feels like I’m suggesting one is better than the other — but I do think that it can help you to work harder.
Is there a middle ground between the two that’s actually helpful but still aspirational? Maybe. A friend of mine who’s now a successful standup comedian says that she didn’t start to call herself a comedian until she’d done 100 gigs: sort of an arbitrary number, but also the point at which you’re clearly over stage fright, you know how to deal with hecklers, and you know whether you enjoy the thing or not. It’s not a number that’s going to work for everyone, but it’s also not bad: if you can go to 100 BJJ classes, or run 100 times, or put 100 bits of art out into the world, I think you can call yourself the thing.
By the way, I think I’ve written this newsletter a hundred times now. So maybe I’m a newsletter guy after all.
Have a great weekend!
Joel x
Stuff I’ve done
📝 Article - The perfect gift may be more modest than you think - The Guardian
Most of my favourite presents are the super basic kind. Here’s why.
📝 Article - I’ve mastered meditation — with the help of my new puppy - The Guardian
Yes, I got a puppy! And as insane as it sounds, waiting in the cold and rain for him to relieve himself is making me more mindful.
🎥 Video - The Best Way To Build A Daily Reading Habit In 2025
I read 57 books this year, but numbers don’t matter so much as the habit. Here’s how to build yours.
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