Just start: Making friends like Captain America
Hey team,
I’ve always liked Captain America. Partly because his skills and abilities feel kind-of-plausibly-within-reach (the Mighty Marvel Strength And Fitness Book puts his overhead pressing strength at ‘peak human potential’ or 800lb, which definitely isn’t achievable but also isn’t Thanos-tier), but also because his real powers are stuff like leadership, persuasiveness, and inspiring other people — which are definitely easier to learn than boinging a shield off a guy with a machine gun.
With this in mind, one thing that’s always stuck with me from Cap’s second movie outing (The Winter Soldier) is the way he makes friends: or, more specifically, the way he meets Sam ‘The Falcon’ Wilson. In case you haven’t seen it recently, they’re both doing laps around the Washington monument — Cap at peak human speed, Sam quite a bit slower than that. After they finish, they stop for a chat, Steve tells Sam he’s catching up on the decades he missed — and Sam responds by telling him to listen to Marvin Gaye’s seminal 1973 album Trouble Man. And then comes the important bit: Cap immediately pulls out a notebook and writes the recommendation down, with the other notes (Nirvana, I Love Lucy, Thai food) showing that he’s done this several times before.
I still remember the first time someone I was talking to did this: he was a friend of a friend, and we’re friends to this day. I immediately started doing it myself, and I can’t believe I wasn’t doing it earlier. There’s something about someone writing down a recommendation, rather than nodding and going “Cool, I’ll check that out!” that shows both respect and genuine interest in what you have to say — but having an actual notebook for it is even better, as it takes a little more effort and leaves you with a physical object that’s less likely to be forgotten than something in your Notes app. Also, of course, it leaves you with a bunch of cool stuff to check out, allowing you to find things and see connections that you might never find alone. And maybe, just maybe, you’ll befriend a guy who owns a wingsuit one day. It’s got to be worth a try.
Have a great weekend!
Joel x
(ps I also recommend checking out Captain America’s bookshelf. Lots of great stuff on there.)
Stuff I like
📖 Book - The Expectation Effect by David Robson
I’ve done an entire video on one of my biggest takeaways from this book — that willpower is only a limited resource if you believe it is — but the rest is fascinating, helpful reading too. From why caffeine works (it’s at least partly placebo) to how much getting six hours of sleep messes you up the next day (not that much if you don’t care), it’s been a life-changer so far.
🎙️ Podcast - Lex Fridman and Chris Voss
I loved Chris Voss’s Never Split The Difference: Negotiating Like Your Life Depends On It when I read it a few years ago, but now I almost wish I’d bought the audiobook: he’s got such a mellifluous New York accent I immediately wanted to be friends with him. I would be amazed if you can listen to this podcast without taking away one thing about how to better communicate with other people.
🎶 Tune - Circles by Greta Svabo Bech
Ludovico Einaudi’s mournful classical bangers are the music I default to whenever I need to focus, and Experience is one of his best — a sort of harp-backed lullaby that builds to a somehow-cosy crescendo. It mostly works best without lyrics, but this collab, with vocals by Faroese singer-songwriter Bech, is absolutely gorgeous.
🧐 Fact - Theodore Roosevelt used to have the world record for most hands shaken in one day
On New Years Day 1907, The Roosevelts held an open house where the public could shake hands with the President. By the end of the day, Roosevelt had shaken the hands of 8,510 people, setting a new Guinness World record that held for 70 years. Reportedly it got up to 25K+ before Guinness stopped tracking the record — but there’s probably a YouTube creator out there who could beat that…
My new stuff
I’ve successfully hit all of my USPs in the Guardian this week, with a spot of showing off about my physical ability, a comment-baiting rant about my productivity happy place, and a whimsical tale about painting potatoes with my son.
🪶 Quote of the week
“It is difficult to accept that the best learning road is slow, and that doing poorly now is essential for better performance later. It is so deeply counterintuitive that it fools the learners themselves, both about their own progress and their teachers’ skill.”
From Range by David Epstein
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